Me in Italics

Recently, my mom was in an accident. It wasn't life threatening, but still pretty serious. I dropped everything to go be with her in the hospital. I know how I would have treated a friend in my situation, and I was surprised to be disappointed by some of my friends. It would have been nice if people would have let me know that they were thinking of me, that they supported me in this stressful time, blah, blah, blah.

  

Honestly, I’m a little bitter about the whole thing. I’m struggling to not make passive aggressive comments to people. Don’t they realize my mom has this habit of almost dying on me and how I got no sleep and now I have all this make up work to do?

My reaction comes from a me centered view. The world doesn’t owe me anything and it’s not about keeping score. And relationships aren’t always 100% reciprocal. That’s okay. But it’s not productive to carry around bitterness.  

I try to be a giving and loving person. I think it’s important to be grateful. One of my goals is to love the people I come in contact with. I want to live a life of serving others and treating people well.

So, my actions should remain the same. I should still strive to be loving and giving. I am still grateful. I am here to serve others. Happiness won’t come from being bitter (although there is a certain satisfaction in it). Because, really, it’s not about me.            

  "In a nutshell, when life is pleasant, think of others. When life is a burden, think of others. If this is the only training we remember to do, it will benefit us tremendously and everyone else as well."

  -Pema Chodron

Except this blog. This blog is totally about me.