Called.

Atlas is my favorite :)

I know that I am meant to be a chiropractor, and I know that through chiropractic I will serve humanity.

It sounds so lofty, righteous even, that sometimes I laugh over it. But it’s a fact. I own that truth deep in my heart, in my bones, in each cell, in each molecule, in each atom. And in the stuff that those atoms are made of. And the stuff that stuff is made of. See? I’m a little melodramatic about it all.

But the more I learn, the more I realize how powerful chiropractic is. It’s as simple as getting someone out of pain. That’s powerful. It’s as huge as a person’s vibrational tone within the universe. That’s powerful.

And the more I learn, the more I realize how powerful I am.

But I doubt so much.

Sometimes, I listen to outside voices. I should do a high volume practice. I should be doing screenings. This technique is better. Philosophy is the most important, no wait!, evidence is the most important! Do anything that helps your patient. Don’t mix. A kind heart will get taken advantage of.

Sometimes, I listen to inside voices. I’m not smart enough. I don’t read enough. I don’t know my anatomy well enough. I’m fat. I'm ugly.  I’m not intuitive enough. Why can’t I feel that? I'm wrong. I’ll never get this!  I should relax. Don't ever let up.

Sometimes, I listen to the universe. That’s when I hear the truth. The truth is, it’s okay to be quiet about my philosophy. It’s there and it’s strong. It’s okay to not know just how I will do a not-for-profit practice. It will happen.  It’s okay to feel alone and doubtful. My heart and my determination are right where they need to be- the details will fall into place.

So many things in life I roll my eyes at, shrug my shoulders to, or laugh off. But I take this journey so seriously. I keep walls up and people out for fear that I’ll get off track. Then I’m upset because I feel alone. I don’t tell the whole truth for fear that I’ll get talked out of my dreams. Then I’m upset because I’m misunderstood.  And I wonder why I struggle and fight to be big when others seem to be so content in mediocrity.  

(It’s scary and it’s lonely and it’s hard.)

But, even in the mist of my doubts, I trust my place within the universe. This is what I am meant to do and to be. I am certain in my calling and in my aspiration.

I’m really lucky that way.