It’s almost Valentine’s Day and it’s the second anniversary
of the big bad sad breakup. There was a person I thought I would spend the
rest of my life with, have dogs and children with, cry and laugh with. But I’m
not.
That’s an odd thing. To be so very wrong about something
that I felt so good about. And it makes me question myself. Did I do the right thing leaving? Can I be a
big girl and move out west all by myself?
Will I ever fall in love again? And if I do… how will I know I’m not
wrong again?
I can’t help but look back on what we had. We had three dogs
and a lot of fun together. We spent one winter cutting out pictures of our
family, friends, and pets, gluing them to popsicle sticks, and putting on
little plays with them. We spent our nights fighting the dogs for space in the
bed. We were happy. We were in love. So where did we go wrong?
We had a lot, but we
also had different goals. And we wanted different things. Different lives. And at some point you have to compromise, or you
have to part ways.
I’m really happy with the life I’m building and the person
I’m becoming. I’m doing big, good things.
I’m working at living consciously and with purpose. I choose this life
and I’m proud of myself for taking steps towards my goals and not taking anything
for granted. How can that be wrong?
But how could it be right to leave someone who played
Popsicle Pals with me? Just because you love someone, and even when they’re
your best friend, it doesn’t mean that you can be successful building a life
together. And that’s sad. And there are pieces of that life that I miss. But it just wasn't right.
So I make plans about what I want for my life. Where I want
to go and who I want to be. I try focus on being a great chiropractor and a
good person. I know I’ll do big things and the crooked path I'm taking is the right one.
But, then again, I could be wrong.
